Balance Like a Pirate: Going beyond Work-Life Balance to Ignite Passion and Thrive as an Educator (A Lead Like a PIRATE Guide)

[00:01] SPEAKER_01:

Welcome to Principal Center Radio, bringing you the best in professional practice.

[00:06] Announcer:

Here's your host, director of the Principal Center and champion of high-performance instructional leadership, Justin Bader. Welcome, everyone, to Principal Center Radio.

[00:15] SPEAKER_02:

I'm your host, Justin Bader, and I'm honored to be joined today by Jessica Kabin, Jessica Johnson, and Sarah Johnson, authors of the new book, Balance Like a Pirate, Going Beyond Work-Life Balance to Ignite Passion and Thrive as an Educator.

[00:31] Announcer:

And now, our feature presentation.

[00:34] SPEAKER_02:

And Jessica Kabin couldn't be with us for technical reasons, but Jessica Johnson and Sarah Johnson, welcome to Principal Center Radio.

[00:39] SPEAKER_00:

Hey, thanks for having us. Thanks for having us, Justin.

[00:42] SPEAKER_02:

Well, I'm so excited to talk about this book because I think it touches on a universal challenge for educators. And I know the three of you have been principals or are principals and have served in a variety of different roles. But for anyone in education, not just principals, this issue of balance is huge. And I wonder if you could tell us a little bit about why you decided to write this book and kind of where it came from.

[01:06] SPEAKER_00:

Okay, so this is Jessica Johnson. And I think the three of us each have our own different story of why we came to wanting to work on writing balance. But we've been connected for several years, started out professionally on Twitter and then got deeper on Boxer. But I had been at a point in my career where I was tired and burnt out from the pace of the principal job. I loved my job, but I just, I was exhausted. And I applied for a position outside of my district, not a principal field, but still in leadership.

[01:36]

And I was devastated when I didn't get the job. And I realized I wasn't devastated that I didn't get the job because I still loved my job. I was devastated that I wasn't going to get every different pace of a job. And so getting that no at that time in my life made me realize I needed to do something differently with how I was doing my job so that I could continue to be a principal and have a life, have some balance, not live at school, not constantly be stressed all the time. So I started engaging in that conversation pretty seriously with these two ladies. And that's how we decided to turn it into a book because we didn't find a book out there that had the answers for us.

[02:13]

So we decided to write it ourselves. Yeah, and so to add to that, this is Sarah Johnson. We've all been involved in our own kind of passion projects, I would say, around balance. I know Jessica Gabin has had the Principle and Balance blog for quite a while. Jessica Johnson, you know, always looking for ways to streamline and improve in the positional areas. And for me, mine kind of came out of a manifestation of what you look like when you're completely unbalanced and maybe not showing it too well to others.

[02:43]

So just kind of having a real, I would say almost an identity crisis is I think how I phrased it a little bit in the book. But this in that space where I was pouring out so much in the position that I found my personal life kind of bereft of health, mental, physical and all of that. So just through the conversations that we had over the years, built a lot of that back and came to a healthy space. And so when Jessica Johnson approached me,

[03:09] SPEAKER_02:

And that message, I think, goes counter to some of the narrative that we have in our heads or that we have in our profession, that if you're going to be a good educator, you have to kind of be a martyr, like you have to put everything out there. you know, for your school, for your students and kind of keep nothing for yourself, for your family. And if you don't do that, there's this, I think kind of a myth that you're just not a good educator. I mean, did you deal with that at all as you tried to find a path to balance?

[03:44] SPEAKER_00:

Absolutely. I mean, check Twitter today and there's a thousand great ideas that you're going to want to implement tomorrow, but you just can't do it. It's not possible. Yeah. You know, I think I've recently been seeing a nice little tagline, across a lot of different Twitter feeds that busy is not a badge of honor. But I think that you're right, Justin, that that's kind of the, I don't know if it's a moniker that we put on ourselves that we need to be poured out so heavily.

[04:09]

And I know my husband and I actually, he's a teacher as well, have had this conversations over the years that it almost felt like a hypocrisy at some point when you're pouring so much into everyone else's kids and suddenly you look at yours aren't getting the priority. So I can appreciate what you're saying there. And we really feel like our framework helps at least people come real with where they are and how they can just kind of do it better in increments, I think. You know, as we were living this message and trying to figure out, you know, our path in writing it as well, I struggle with, you know, I want to be a servant leader. I want to be the best principal that I can be, the best leader for my building. But in order to be the best at that, I can't do everything and do more of everything.

[04:47]

I have to make sure that I'm taking care of myself so that I have that to pour into my people.

[04:52] SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. I like to say servant leadership is a great attitude, but it's not necessarily a great plan as far as actually making things happen and keeping things under control. But you do have a pretty robust model for what you call pirate balance. And I wonder if you want to take us through that acronym, pirate balance, from the book.

[05:12] SPEAKER_00:

It is kind of funny. When we're working with Dave Burgess Publishing, obviously those people who are understanding of the pirate acronym get it. But pirate really stands for P is passion. I, immersion. R is relationships. A is ask and analyze.

[05:27]

T is transform. And E is enthusiasm. So as we were looking at the framework of the book, we were so excited because all of those words really kind of encompass what you want to be as an educator. You know, you want to walk it through passion. You want to immerse yourself in all of the spaces. Obviously, everything we do, the heart of everything we do is at relationships.

[05:47]

And when we look at our balance quadrants, and maybe that'll be kind of the next thing we talk about, It's a relationship with yourself, your family, your stakeholders, and your own passion. So the ask and analyze, we all have to do that. We all have to figure out what our current reality is and operate from that space and grow. We look at that as a cycle. And of course, to transform, that's what you want to do. You want to continually become the best version of yourself.

[06:11]

And finally, the E is you can do it with enthusiasm. So I know for me too, I'm really hooked into that concept of the pirate balance being something that is important? Yeah. So, you know, the myth of balance being 50-50, I mean, that really is a myth. It's a unicorn that you can seek to find and you might only grab its tail for a tiny little bit and then it's gone. And so, you know, we look at it as quadrants and that's been so helpful in having that framework to define balance and recalibrate.

[06:41]

And the four quadrants are personal, professional, positional, and passions. I think the two that people often combine are positional and professional. And so positional, that's your day-to-day things that you're doing at school, in the office, in classrooms, the work that needs to be done. And professional is how are you growing as a professional? What are you reading? What are you engaging in online to continue to grow as an educator and making sure that you are growing and not just getting stuck in that busy day-to-day work and getting drowned down by those tasks?

[07:16] SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, I think that's an important distinction because it is easy to see your professional identity as the same as your job. And I think a lot of people come to some sort of fork in the road when it comes to their job, like they have to move or they decide that maybe the district they're working for is not the best fit or they're looking for a new challenge. And separating those, saying, okay, my professional identity is more than just the job I'm in, often is very disorienting for people. So I appreciate that you've kind of split those into both the positional and the professional.

[07:46] SPEAKER_00:

Well, and I can appreciate that you can see how disorienting that can be. So the other two pieces that we have in that quadrant is the personal. And that one is pretty heavy. And we talk about when you look at a traditional work-life balance, Life is what we would say is a lot of it is in the personal, but there's so much there because you're talking about your own personal well-being for your spiritual, mental, physical health. You could put financial health in there as well. You know, it's the relationships that you have.

[08:14]

We really put a heavy emphasis on self-care there because as we were talking about, you know, we often use that putting the oxygen mask on first because one of my favorite quotes is that self-care isn't selfish. In fact, it allows you to be more selfless because you're healthier. So we really put a point of emphasis there. And then the other one is passions. And we divide that out too. And that one's really hard as we've talked through it and we've worked with participants or readers who have read the book in terms of How do you separate from your position when your students are your passion and, you know, educating is your passion and all of that?

[08:49]

And that's not a bad thing, but you can burn yourself out pretty heavy if that's the only space you're lit up. So we encourage people to consider what it is that lights them up before they became, you know, an educator or, you know, in the middle of it. Or what is it that they could focus on to kind of reclaim what made them themselves before they kind of came to this professional or positional identity? but they could be both.

[09:10] SPEAKER_02:

Well, and I think it's, it's huge that you're giving people permission to spend time on their passions. And I think we can all kind of imagine like some hobby that we might take up if we were, you know, retired and didn't have anything, you know, to do on a basis, but that's not quite what you're talking about. You're not talking about a time consuming hobby that we don't really have time for. You're really talking about, you know, that motivation and that, you know, kind of reason for being reason for maybe we'll talk, talk a little bit more about that. Cause I feel like I'm not getting it quite right either.

[09:39] SPEAKER_00:

No, you absolutely are, actually. And part of the storytelling that we do is how can you take your passions, your personal passions, and use them even so that it feels more satisfying. So, you know, this is Sarah. I personally write about that, about my passion for performance and singing and writing. So I could sit there and consume my entire day doing those things. But instead, I found a way to fuse them in with my job, you know, singing the national anthem with students, going to the choir room and singing with them.

[10:06]

creating skits with the staff, you know, writing is, you know, it's blogging, it's professional work, and it's writing this text. So I think there are ways that you can definitely use your own passions and your gifts to pour into those spaces that you're in. So yeah, I appreciate it's not necessarily that we're encouraging people to get out and add another hobby. But if you can do that, great. If you're lacking that complete, you know, time to yourself, we recommend that. It's kind of like whatever is necessary for you as a person at the time.

[10:34]

You know what, I'll add to that. One of my literacy guru mentors, Regie Routman, and I write about this in the book, that in one of my workshops with her, you know, she really hit home the point that if you're going to model writing for students, you need to have stories to actually model writing about. And if you don't have anything going on in your life to be able to write about for your students, then how are you going to model? Otherwise, you're just you know, putting down a formulaic made up story, have a life outside of school so you can share that with your students and help inspire them of how they can bring in their own life experiences to tie into their writing. And, you know, that can expand to so many different subjects, but it helps us model for our students.

[11:15] SPEAKER_02:

Absolutely. Absolutely. And I'm thinking of, you know, the many teachers who try to spend time abroad during the summer, you know, even if it's kind of on a shoestring budget, you know, just getting out of the country or getting out of town or doing something different during the summer. I think those summer months often are when people kind of gravitate toward those passions. But yeah, Sarah, I love those examples that you gave of, you know, getting into the choir class if that's if that's where you really come alive, just making sure that that's part of your day on a regular basis. I love that.

[11:42] SPEAKER_00:

Thank you. I'm sure the students did, too.

[11:46] SPEAKER_02:

I want to kind of go into some hard questions here because I know people have these concerns when it comes to any discussion of balance. What do you say to people who respond to this call for balance with the statement that, well, in my school, our students need me to be unbalanced on their behalf? Our students need us to be kind of heroes because the stakes are high and, you know, the window of opportunity is narrow and we've got to do everything we can. You know, how do you respond to that kind of objection to the idea of balance?

[12:18] SPEAKER_00:

I would say those students need a balanced educator more than anything. We do in my building have some high demands of our students. And, you know, there's a lot of time that I give outside of school to help students. But I also recognize that you can burn out pretty quickly if you're given everything to those students. And then you're not going to be any good for them when you get to that burnt out place. And sometimes it's hard for educators to realize that they're on that path until they get there already.

[12:45]

Yeah. And as you were speaking, I could kind of feel like a fire welling up in my chest to just kind of along those lines, but a little bit more passionately to my retort, my thoughtful question to a person who's thinking that that's listening would be, well, how many students deserve the impact that you as an enthusiastic and energetic educator have? How many? Is it just those then for the next three years that you can keep up that pace where you burn the candle at both ends, as my father would state? Or is it the multitude and the masses that need you for the remainder of your career? And realizing that, yes, it may be a short window for them.

[13:18]

You know, I often say that to my staff. This is the only September that they get in their junior year. This is the only graduation ceremony that they'll have, though it may have 15 to 20. It's their first. It's their only semester of their sophomore year. Those kinds of things.

[13:32]

And try to emphasize that there is power in moments or the people that you're with. But we got to be in here for the long haul. you know, as educators. And we have to figure out how we can sustain that level of enthusiasm, not just burn it out. And it's so, so important to consider those pieces too. Long-term goals, vision.

[13:52]

There are power in moments, but we can't just live for those moments.

[13:55] SPEAKER_02:

And I think some of that gets back to just understanding the nature of what our job is. And some of the best research I've seen on longevity in a position, you know, that the more a principal stays in a position, you know, if Staying five to ten years makes a huge difference versus staying one or two years. The results speak for themselves that this is a very real issue. If people burn out after a year or two years or three years, that is worse for students than a principal who maybe puts some boundaries in place and makes sure that they can stick around. And I would say the same thing for teachers as well. When we have that continuity, students learn more.

[14:33]

We just have less turnover, less chaos in the school, less disruption. And it's better for kids if we get this balance equation figured out.

[14:41] SPEAKER_00:

One million percent agree with you, Justin. In fact, I'm pretty sure I used one of your articles at one point to have that conversation in my district that was very, I mean, very disrupted. So I appreciate that work that you've done around that.

[14:55] SPEAKER_02:

you know, I just keep coming back to this idea that in the principalship, we're never really done. Like we can never really get done with all of our work. And it, you know, I feel like sometimes we think we're trauma surgeons in the hospital and there's just been a disaster and we've got to run around and, you know, and heal all these people. And of course, if that's the situation you're in, like if you really are a trauma surgeon, it would seem unethical to just say, okay, it's five o'clock, I'm going home. You know, who cares about all those people over there who are still bleeding? You know, But I think that metaphor doesn't quite fit our work because there's an infinite number of things we could be doing on any given day.

[15:31]

Nobody ever stays till 5.30 PM when they wanted to leave at 5 and then magically at 5.30, it's like, oh, I got all my work done. No, there's no end point to the work I'm an administrator. And we've got to constantly triage and constantly figure out what's going to get done and what's going to have to wait. And I just feel like there's a sharply diminishing return to working longer and longer and longer hours.

[15:55]

So I think the importance of family, the importance of not necessarily having a million hobbies, but as you said, having that kind of passion and time for a personal life, a life that if you had to go into a classroom and do a writing prompt, you'd actually have a life to write about, as you said.

[16:13] SPEAKER_00:

No, you're absolutely right. I mean, time could literally stop and you would not catch up on everything. It's just not possible. I've used snow days to come in and catch up and you never catch up. On the other hand, you know, as I've gotten much better at having a life, you know, every day when it comes to five o'clock and I think, oh my gosh, I should take this home and work on it. I'm disciplining myself to leave it here at school, go home, have a life, relax, enjoy my family, get some exercise.

[16:42]

And I come back the next day much more refreshed and probably much more efficient to tackle whatever that was versus if I would have stayed up and done it after my kids went to bed and then been super tired and had to drink more coffee the next day.

[16:55] SPEAKER_02:

Yeah, it's almost like we have a choice of, you know, either doing something in that moment or doing it later. And it's like we have some things that are, you know, perishable food and some things that are shelf stable. And I feel like a lot of that, you know, perishable work where it's I have to do it today or it's, you know, it's just going to fall apart. Like this kid had an issue today and I need to call their parents right now because if I call them three days from now, you know, that's not going to work. Obviously, there are things that are urgent like that. There are those kind of perishable kinds of work.

[17:24]

But for a lot of the opportunities that we're pursuing, the improvement work that we're doing, it is longer-term work. It's like a box of cereal. It's still going to be there tomorrow, and it's not going to get moldy overnight.

[17:38] SPEAKER_00:

Yeah, I think one of the biggest things that we really tried to get through in this message, and we do state that, you know, we're so glad to have had the opportunity to document our conversations in a book through the Burgess Publishing Company. Eternally grateful for that. But it really comes down to the message that we just knew we needed for ourselves. So we're hopeful that when people read it, that they never feel shamed. You know, we talk a lot about, we even talked in our little Voxer group about the fear of missing out and that you can always do more. There's always going to be more.

[18:07]

But how can you do it enough in all the spaces that you feel satisfied? And I think that's what our message comes down to is just to incessantly seek that. level of satisfaction for yourself and don't let yourself get pulled into those fires.

[18:20] SPEAKER_02:

Well, I think that's a great question. And it gets back to that idea of the point of diminishing returns. You know, like we understand sometimes we're going to have to stay late. Sometimes we're going to have to work at night on something that's urgent and important. And sometimes, you know, it's been a long time since I've pulled an all-nighter. But, you know, there are those seasons where But on a regular basis, we know we can't just stay up all night every night and get more and more and more work done.

[18:47]

Bad things are going to happen. And I feel like for a lot of people in our profession, the point where those diminishing returns start has been defined far too far into the evening, far too far into their personal life. So we have people working 60, 70, 80 hours a week, and I think really on track for burnout. So what would you say, maybe as some kind of closing words of advice, if somebody is feeling like they need to work hard, they need to put in the effort because they're just in a situation where students need them and maybe they need to kind of prove themselves in a new job, I think often that's the fear is that if I kind of back off and set some boundaries, then it's going to look like I'm not pulling my weight or it's going to look like I'm lazy or I'm just not going to get it done for kids. What's your advice to someone who is in that place right now and doesn't feel like they should or could put some boundaries in place?

[19:38] SPEAKER_00:

I think, you know, if you're in a new position, the most important way to be spending your time is building relationships. and getting to know the building, but then, you know, I'm going to give a plug for you, Justin, you share so many resources with school leaders on how to be efficient and how to manage their time. And it's, you know, those strategies that I learned from you all the time that helped me be more efficient so that I can be out in classrooms so that I can be having conversations with people and that I can have a clean desk and leave it at five and go home. And, you know, I, I think those are the two secrets for me to help be able to do that. I'm chuckling because here's a backstage pass. I'm certain that Jessica Johnson shared the tickler file article with me and I don't know if I ever totally...

[20:28]

I tried to coach her with it digitally when I Skyped with her and she showed me her desk and I about lost it.

[20:36] SPEAKER_02:

It is a great tool, and we have a PDF on that called The Future File. If you go to principalcenter.com slash future, you can see what we're talking about, a system of folders for keeping your desk clear. Another recommendation is if you search on the Principal Center website for the word boundaries, you'll find an article on creating work-life boundaries. And of course...

[20:57]

The book that we're here to talk about today, Balance Like a Pirate, Going Beyond Work-Life Balance to Ignite Passion and Thrive as an Educator. So Jessica and Sarah, I just want to say I really appreciate the thought that you put into this book. Really enjoyed reading it. And I think I read a review copy while I was on vacation, and that was just a great thing to do. So highly recommended. If people want to get in touch with you and maybe follow your blog or Twitter, where are some of the best places for them to find you online?

[21:25] SPEAKER_00:

Twitter, probably you can use the hashtag balance LAP. I'm principal J on Twitter. And then we're missing Jessica Kabeen today. And she's just Jessica Kabeen on Twitter. Yep. And I'm at Sarah S.A. Johnson, but you can connect with us through that hashtag.

[21:41]

And then I believe we all have websites on our landing Twitter pages. So if you wanted to go deeper and connect with us individually, I know all three of us would love to do that.

[21:49] SPEAKER_02:

Well, Jessica and Sarah, thank you so much for joining me on Principal Center Radio.

[21:53] SPEAKER_01:

It's been a blast.

[21:53] SPEAKER_00:

Thank you again.

[21:55] Announcer:

Thanks for listening to Principal Center Radio. For more great episodes, subscribe on our website at principalcenter.com slash radio.