How to Implement Discipline Reform in 6 Easy Steps (Satire)
In this video, Dr. Justin Baeder delivers a satirical take on how schools typically implement discipline reform — by dismantling what works and replacing it with wishful thinking.
Key Takeaways
- Satire reveals the pattern - The 'easy steps' parody highlights how reforms often eliminate consequences without viable replacements
- Good intentions aren't enough - Each step in the satirical process sounds compassionate but creates real harm
- Reform should be evidence-based - Real improvement requires careful implementation, not just good feelings
Transcript
Here's how to implement discipline reform in your school in just six easy steps.
Step one, rebrand.
Take something everyone does anyway, like having students apologize, and give it an innovative sounding new name, like repair the harm.
Step two, exaggerate what it can do, which people will fall for because they're already doing it anyway, and you're giving it a shiny new name.
Step three, swap it in for a consequence that's really doing the heavy lifting, like detention or suspension, but that makes people feel bad.
Step four, deflect complaints when it's clearly not working by saying you're building skills and addressing the root causes of behavior.
That'll buy you some time.
Step five, gaslight teachers, students, and parents when they point out that things are actually getting worse by saying they're probably just doing it wrong.
And step six, brag about how you've cut down on those icky consequences.
Suspensions are down, so who cares if behavior is actually getting worse?
It's all about the data.
Now it's time to check your work.
If you've followed each of these steps carefully, you should have something that sounds absolutely ridiculous when you say the quiet part out loud.
For example, instead of having actual consequences, we'll just have students apologize, and we'll call it repairing the harm.
That sounds a lot better, and it doesn't show up in any statistics, so you are golden, my friend!
You can use these six easy steps for a variety of discipline reforms.
Let's try another one.
Step one, rebrand.
We're not just mediating a conflict between students, which is something administrators and counselors do every day.
We're holding a restorative circle.
Step two, exaggerate.
Now it's not just a way to help students get along.
It can handle bullying and fistfights, too.
Step three, swap.
Now that we have restorative circles, we don't need those pesky out-of-school suspensions that the district keeps hassling us about.
Step four, deflect.
Yes, this takes up a ton of class time and doesn't actually solve any problems, but hang in there.
Maybe it'll work next year.
Step five, gaslight.
No, we aren't creating a student thunderdome where kids can hurt each other with impunity.
We're innovating.
Step six, brag.
Hey look, students are requesting a lot more restorative circles and suspensions are way down.
Nevermind that our student climate scores are tanking and everyone notices that the school is now unsafe.
It's working.
Now, let me give you one more tip in case people still need some convincing.
Throw in some neuroscience.
People love hearing about the amygdala or anything with a cortex.
So that's how you can implement discipline reform in your school.
Good luck and have fun.
And if you act fast, you can probably even leverage this into a consulting career and a book deal.