You Can't Replace Behavior Policy with a 'Relationship Agreement
In this video, Dr. Justin Baeder argues that replacing discipline policies with vague relationship agreements abdicates the school's responsibility to maintain order.
Key Takeaways
- Relationship agreements aren't policies - They lack the specificity and enforceability that real discipline policies require
- This is abdication, not innovation - Calling it a 'relationship agreement' doesn't change the fact that you've eliminated accountability
- Students need clear rules - Ambiguous agreements leave teachers without tools and students without boundaries
Transcript
Okay, so this school supposedly replaced their behavior policy with a relationship agreement.
And then the person who's posting this goes on to say that all behavior is a form of communication, and if a student is exhibiting challenging behavior, that's because we're not meeting their needs.
I think this is the kind of nonsense that we absolutely need to stop in education.
And I think this person probably is not actually an educator, but just has ideas for schools to implement and is trying to foist these ideas on schools.
I don't know.
But I think we've got to push back on these ideas that have been tried and have just not worked.
When we say to kids, hey, we got rid of the rules and we renamed not having rules and called it a relationship agreement.
And now we're responsible for you and your safety, but we're not actually willing to do anything to enforce the rules that we used to have.
We're just hoping everybody has their needs met and behaves themselves.
And if they don't, sorry, good luck, you know, best of luck to you being safe at school and actually learning stuff because we as adults are not going to do our job.
This is madness and we have to stop it.
Look, kids need boundaries.
Kids do have needs, you know, that need to be met, but it doesn't then follow that every form of misbehavior is just a result of unmet needs.
Like, that's gaslighting.
That is blaming teachers for things that are the student's choice.
And it is natural and normal for kids to need boundaries and for kids to test boundaries.
And when they do test those boundaries, they need to feel safe by experiencing consequences from adults who care about them.
Because as the saying goes, kids need to experience consequences from kids who care about them, from people who care about them, or else they will experience consequences from people who do not care about them.
Let me know what you think.
Thank you.