Mental Health, SEL & Student Wellbeing in Schools FAQ
How principals can address student mental health and social-emotional learning without losing focus on academics.
Schools and Mental Health Scope
Should schools be providing mental health services to students?
Schools are for education, not therapy. We're not licensed mental health professionals, and we shouldn't pretend to be. Just as no teacher would set a broken bone, no teacher should be conducting mental health interventions. Leave that to qualified professionals and focus on what we actually do well: teaching and learning.
Watch the video -->What's wrong with schools trying to meet the needs of the "whole child"?
The original ASCD whole child initiative was solid -- it focused on creating safe, supportive learning environments. But "whole child" has been stretched into a justification for schools becoming one-stop shops for every service imaginable. We can't be physicians, psychiatrists, social workers, and nutritionists. Every non-academic mission we take on pulls resources away from the core job of educating kids.
Watch the video -->Are you seeing mental health "scope creep" in schools?
Absolutely. Schools are being asked to provide behavioral and mental health services that go far beyond our training and capacity. If a student has acute mental health needs, it would be inappropriate for us to claim we can meet those needs -- just as we wouldn't claim to treat diabetes. We need to accommodate and support, but the actual care belongs with licensed professionals.
Watch the video -->Should teachers say "that's not my area of expertise"?
Yes. Normalize it. Teachers have been conditioned to be the Swiss Army knife of professionals, doing everyone's job. But saying "that's not my area of expertise -- I'd recommend talking to a professional with training in that area" is the responsible thing to do. It's not cold; it's honest. And it gets the student to someone who can actually help.
Watch the video -->SEL and Universal Mental Health Programs
Could universal SEL instruction actually be harmful?
Yes, and Abigail Shrier makes a compelling case for this in her book Bad Therapy. All medical care carries the risk of iatrogenesis -- harm caused by treatment. If we're treating kids who are healthy, we risk doing more damage than if we'd left them alone. SEL interventions may be on the mild end of that spectrum, but there's a real risk we're making things worse for kids who were doing fine.
Watch the video -->What about AI-generated SEL and mental health lesson plans?
This is a problem on two levels. First, schools shouldn't be conducting mental health interventions in the first place -- the evidence base is very poor. Second, a teacher generating a lesson plan with AI because they're unprepared is not how a profession operates. If parents found out their kid was taught an AI-generated mental health lesson, they wouldn't feel great about it. And they can find out through public records requests.
Watch the video -->Trauma-Informed Practice
Has "trauma-informed" become code for low expectations?
In too many schools, yes. The research on trauma never says "no consequences." Nowhere does it say lowering expectations will improve students' lives. Genuinely trauma-informed practice means providing additional support to meet high standards -- not using trauma as an excuse to avoid holding students accountable.
Watch the video -->Should trauma-informed practice mean fewer consequences?
No. Students who've experienced trauma need more structure and consistency, not less. Inconsistent expectations create the very unpredictability that's especially harmful for traumatized students. And when we go easy on violent behavior in the name of being "trauma-sensitive," we end up exposing the most traumatized students to more violence.
Watch the video -->Isn't it unkind to hold traumatized students to high expectations?
Pity is not kindness. Lowering expectations out of pity communicates that you don't believe in the student's potential. We've all had students come back years later and thank us for holding them accountable. What's actually unkind is making their schools unsafe by removing consequences for violent behavior in the name of empathy.
Watch the video -->What about "therapeutic thinking" approaches like those being tried in English schools?
Same problems, different label. Whether you call it trauma-informed, restorative practice, or therapeutic thinking, the core logic breaks down when you try to replace consequences with positive experiences. If you reward negative behavior with attention and snacks, students -- being rational, self-interested human beings -- will figure out the incentive structure fast. This isn't rocket science.
Watch the video -->Student Behavior and Psychology
Does all bad behavior come from unmet needs?
No. Unmet needs can affect behavior, but they don't explain all of it. Students also have motivation, free will, and the ability to make their own decisions. Saying "you threw a desk because of an unmet need" is actually disempowering -- it takes the emphasis away from the student's ability to control themselves. Self-control is what school should be developing.
Watch the video -->What about students in fight-flight-freeze mode? Can they control their behavior?
A student can't choose not to be in a stress response -- that part is physiological. But notice the slashes: fight, flight, and freeze are very different. Freezing is manageable. Fleeing is usually okay. What's critical is that they choose not to fight. Being dysregulated doesn't give you a free pass to punch people or throw furniture.
Watch the video -->What's the problem with calling students "dysregulated"?
It's a terminology fad that reframes normal misbehavior as a medical condition. When we call a student "dysregulated" instead of "upset" or "throwing a fit," we temporarily close our eyes to basic logic -- like the fact that giving a kid a candy bar every time they act out will train them to act out more. Paraphrase the jargon with plain language and the bad logic becomes obvious.
Watch the video -->Are accommodations for anxiety helping or hurting students?
Often hurting. Research from psychologists at Teachers College shows that avoidance-based accommodations -- no time limits, exemptions from presentations, private testing -- actually reinforce anxiety by confirming the false belief that these situations are dangerous. The average anxious student receives 20 accommodations, many of which make things worse. Students are more capable than we assume.
Watch the video -->Are 25-50% of college-age ADHD diagnoses really bogus?
That's what researchers estimate. As a K-12 person, it's hard to believe ADHD symptoms go completely unrecognized for 12 years of school and then suddenly appear in college. The incentives are clear: extra time on tests (which does help) and access to stimulant medications that can be used recreationally or sold. This harms students with genuine ADHD by diluting resources and credibility.
Watch the video -->Cell Phones, Social Media, and Sleep
What's the best phone policy for schools?
"Away for the day." Full bell-to-bell phone removal outperforms any partial restriction. Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation makes a strong case that phones need to be gone during passing periods and lunch too -- that's when kids should be talking to each other and making friends in person, not staring at screens.
Watch the video -->Should kids take their phones to bed?
Absolutely not. Period. No child of any age needs a phone in their bedroom overnight. Six out of ten kids use their phones between midnight and 6 a.m. Even in the best-case scenario, they're not getting enough sleep. And sleep deprivation is directly linked to depression, anxiety, and lower academic performance. Get a different alarm clock and charge the phone in the kitchen.
Watch the video -->How are phones affecting kids even outside of school hours?
Constant notifications hijack developing brains. Kids are being pinged all day by apps, social media, and friends -- and most of it is noise, not meaningful connection. Even texting is out of control. Healthier friendships come from less drama, less interruption, and more in-person time. Turn off notifications for everything except the absolute essentials.
Watch the video -->Is late-night phone use really contributing to the absenteeism crisis?
I'm convinced it is. Kids who are on their phones all night aren't getting the sleep they need, even if they're technically "in bed." And when they don't get enough sleep, they're not ready for school. This is showing up in test scores, in grades, and in attendance data. Parents: your kid's phone does not go to bed with them.
Watch the video -->Is cyberbullying as big a problem as people think?
A lot of what gets called cyberbullying isn't actually bullying -- it's gossip, drama, and online conflict that doesn't meet the definition of repeated, targeted harassment with a power imbalance. The real problem is social media itself. Kids need to be socializing in person, not online. And if someone's bothering you online? Block them. Get off the platform.
Watch the video -->Anxiety, Fear, and Risk
Should schools feed into parent and student anxiety about safety?
No. School shootings are real and horrifying, but statistically you have about a one-in-a-million chance of dying in one. We can't make policy based on something that looms large emotionally but is extremely unlikely. Feeding into irrational fear and panic is far more broadly destructive to learning and wellbeing than the risk itself. Use math, not feelings, to set policy.
Watch the video -->Are Kids Really Different Today?
Are students actually different post-pandemic, or are we just imagining it?
It's probably both real changes in kids and bad school policy. Screens and social media are a big factor -- the evidence keeps coming in that they're destructive, especially for adolescent girls. Parenting norms have shifted. Social norms are eroding. But a huge part of the problem is school policy: when you remove consequences and rely on untested approaches, behavior deteriorates regardless of whether kids have changed.
Watch the video -->Supporting Educators
What do educators need right now?
A break from being on the front lines. Over the past few years, educators have been put on the front lines of school shootings, COVID battles, and culture wars -- none of which they signed up for. If you're in the trenches, please take your breaks. Get some rest. And for those of us not on the front lines, we've got to do more to protect educators from constantly being ground zero for society's problems.
Watch the video -->Do school counselors matter?
Immensely. A good school counselor is worth their weight in gold. Counselors play a critical role in preventing conflicts before they escalate to fights or harassment -- and that's exactly the right place for restorative approaches. Too often, counselor positions get cut or counselors are spread too thin. Protect those positions.
Watch the video -->